Child-like dependence and faith

I keep going through this cycle of need, dependence, trust, and provision. Then the cycle continues. I am fully convinced that God does not want us to ever be independent from Him but fully surrendered and fully trusting in Him to take care of us and meet our needs.

Self sufficiency is not supposed to be part of the life of a child of God. The provision comes and then there’s another need and reason for trust. It’s like despite His provision, He is keeping me in a place of deep dependence, like a child, that I cannot get out of.

But if I’m honest, I want to. I want control and security. I’ve spent most of my life “in control” (at at least that’s what I thought). I’ve been miss independent and self-sufficient. This was especially easy since it was only ME for so long. Now that I’m married I have a husband, a daughter, and soon to be son. I am NOT in control of most things. I want to always have the answers, knowing how everything is going to work out. I’m not in control, but I can be sure my Father is going to take care of me. He used my daughter and some life circumstances as an example.

My 14 month old daughter is completely dependent upon me for all of her basic needs to be met. I know her needs, her schedule, and her routine. I am anticipating when she is going to need before she needs it. I anticipate when she’ll wake up, be hungry, when she’ll need a cup of milk, when she’ll need her diaper changed, when she’ll need to take a nap, eat dinner, get a bath, etc. I have it ALL covered before she even realizes it. I literally anticipate and prepare for her every need before she needs it. Minute to minute, hour to hour, she is coming to me with her requests. Does this sound familiar?

Do I trust in God? Or do I trust in ME?

God’s got it. I have to remind myself of this all the time. He always provides and shows Himself faithful, even if it’s not how I expected or in my time. He wants us fully dependent on Him. Even when God provides and sets me up, I am then experiencing circumstances that unfold which take away my independence or my ability to “keep it under control.” Am I trusting in the set up or circumstances more than Him? Yes, sometimes. Am I trusting in how many zero’s are in our savings account for security or am I trusting in God? Am I trusting in my ability to “help” my husband not mistake a mistake or am I trusting fully in GOD to guide him? Am I trusting that despite inflation, expenses, and a dwindling bank account that He is going to provide after He instructed me to leave my corporate job?

God cannot get the glory if we are able to take care of everything ourselves. Our needs, our mess ups and mistakes, our impossible situations….He’s got them all…

Do I trust in and know the nature of God?

When the Israelites were in the wilderness, God fed them manna daily. If they stored it up, it would rot. They had to trust God for provision each day; there was no independence or self sufficiency. My trust and security should be in God. He factors in the decisions He knows we’ll make (because He knows the end from the beginning) including all of our mistakes. He owns everything; the earth is His footstool. He provides and supplies all of our needs! According to Matthew 6:25-34, if God provides for the birds of the air, He will do it for us. We are much more valuable. We are His children. We can trust Him fully, with all of our hearts.

The problem is, we can have a flawed view of God. Even if we had the best dad in the world, he was still a human who made mistakes. I don’t know if this is you or not, but maybe you had a not so great earthly father. Maybe you felt abandoned often or like he didn’t want you, like you, or wasn’t a safe place for you. Maybe he never made you feel loved or cared for. Maybe he constantly punished you or was abusive any time you made a mistake.

God is a good father. He isn’t like your earthly father. He does discipline and correct, but ultimately out of love and for our good. We can trust in His character and nature. He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in love and faithfulness (Exodus 34:6).  His understanding is beyond measure” according to psalm 147:5. He doesn’t change (Malachi 3:6). He is love, good, and trustworthy.