Deep Waters

The week my daughter was born I had a dream that I KNOW was from the Lord. Shortly after, I had another. It was a little strange and disturbing to the carnal mind, yet peaceful at the same time. In the first dream, I was in a tall building and saw chaos in the street underneath me. I saw fires, flashing lights, cars crashing- just total chaos. The next thing I remember, I am in water on a pallet. I started to sink, going into the water. I wasn’t scared though; I was in a state of peace, worshipping Jesus and calling out to Him. I remained in this peaceful state of worship/calling on Him for help as I sank deeper into the water. In the second dream, I was floating in calm waters by myself. It was light out; there was no one around. It almost was like a lazy river. I felt very isolated, wondering when I would see another person, yet calm. I kept floating along and finally saw a couple of people. They told me I was doing a great job and encouraged me to keep going. So strange. But soon after, I realized God was letting me know HE is our safe place, our refuge, our trust, our provider, our redeemer, our Savior. We might go through the wilderness again and again, but He doesn’t leave us or abandon us. Worship, surrendering and inviting Him into every opportunity is our answer. He’s not a last resort, He’s the first….The Creator of the Universe is asking us to fully trust Him, especially in the unknown.

Daily, we’re navigating situations- the day to day- the mundane. We hit trials. Then God shows up to rescue the day. God has been speaking to me and my husband regarding what He is doing in us regarding this move we made, and it’s so much more than just moving here for a job and so I can stay home with our babies. We’ve had some hard moments. We’ve had days of “what did we do and why did we move here?” despite having clear direction from God and a deep KNOWING He brought us here.

We’ve had such moments of discomfort and stripping that have honestly been painful. We’ve had things exposed and brought to the surface we’ve had to face that are less than flattering. Mindsets that need renewed keep popping up, in different shades. Doubt, fear, worldliness, lack of trust, independence and self sufficiency, and an orphan mentality are just to name a few. I talk ALL the time about being completely dependent upon and trusting God; this is an ongoing process and doesn’t just happen completely overnight.

From my own personal experience, God will use certain circumstances to help encourage us along in His plan and path for us. That doesn’t mean that circumstance is permanent; He always accomplishes His purposes. For example, when we sold our dream home and moved here, we were in a financial position that put us in a mode of self sufficiency and independence. Little did we know, what we THOUGHT was wrong and we would be right back in a position where we had to depend on HIM as provider, and not our job or bank account. OR you may think you’re moving geographically for a job (and it’s what the Lord uses to get you there) BUT the REAL purpose behind the move is actually for a Kingdom assignment.

Being at the end of my pregnancy, emotions of fear and anxiety began to creep up again after being in a state of total peace after my doctor wanted to schedule an induction at 39 weeks. “No,” I thought. “I’m not doing that again- that’s not what I want. Last time I got sick and had a horrible postpartum experience.” What is it that I want? Control. Security and safety; to be in charge because I think I know what’s best. This means I have no choice but to trust God is guiding my providers and has it all under control. I will never understand why He allows certain things to happen, especially things that are unpleasant. Then I remember, sometimes what is uncomfortable for our flesh is ultimately beneficial for our spirit. God cares about our character and sanctification more than our comfort.

This morning I had a conversation with one of my really good friends who is now in a similar season that my husband and I were in several months ago. The Lord is calling them away from their home to another city where they don’t know anyone. Also, it’s a geographic location that is VERY different than what they are living in now. It’s a scary and faith-filled move. God is so good to take us through things so that we can help encourage others when they go through something similar. They also recently got a prophecy and confirmation regarding their move (how GOOD is God?). Not only did every part of it bear witness with my spirit for THEM, but was also confirmation for what God is doing in US in this same season. God is not calling us to be comfortable. He’s calling us to obey and do HIS work, even if it means giving up everything. He has a purpose for us on this earth.

By the way- I feel led to share this. I won’t go into detail because it’s not mine to share. But in case someone is reading this who DOESN’T know Christ, let me give you proof He is very real. My friend’s husband went on a last minute work trip. He felt led in his heart to text his friend on this work trip that he evangelizes with but fought it because he had just traveled and was tired. Well, when God wants something accomplished, He won’t let us miss it. His friend ended up texting HIM and invited him to a church event. So my friend goes to this church event and this gentleman, who does NOT know him or anything about his situation, begins to prophesy over him. He prophesies DETAILS about not only their current situation regarding a physical move, but personal things regarding their family and what the Lord is doing/wants to do in their lives. You can’t make this up!

God is calling us higher. Into deeper waters. Into deeper conviction, into deeper trust and surrender in Him. He is doing the impossible. He is doing things only HE can do and only He can get the glory for. I’ve struggled with this question so many times. “God I know you are good and I know you are faithful so why do I have a hard time trusting?” My friend asked this same question. I don’t think this is an isolated event- our flesh hates faith. It feels God is CONSTANTLY putting myself (and others that I talk to) in this situation of dependence and trust. I don’t mean to sound like a broken record, but it’s really what He keeps reiterating.

Deep waters are scary. It’s where the unknown lies. We like comfort, control, and knowledge. We like to know if we make decision A then it will result in outcome A. But what if God wants us to make decision A, we obey, and it results in outcome B? Do we trust He knows what is best? Do we trust He will supply our needs? Do we trust He’ll come through?

When we are walking in blind faith and cannot see the outcome, do we trust His character? We walk blindly because we don’t know the end, BUT it’s not REALLY blind because we have multiple testimonies of His character, nature, and His faithfulness. If you are new to this walk, just read your Bible. There are multiple accounts of God’s faithfulness and scripture speaks to this over and over. Also, talk to other believers and hear their testimonies. God has been SO faithful in my life and in others. The testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy. He doesn’t change and we can trust Him as He calls us into deeper waters.