Bitterness; A Slow Poison

This draft has been sitting in my queue since July. I knew I was feeling bitterness, but didn’t know what to do about it. I had GREAT conviction, but I wasn’t addressing the root. Well, the Lord works in mysterious ways. I recently took on a part-time gig with an online counseling ministry to manage their social media content (that is another story for another day) that the Lord gave me- it literally landed in my lap and was an answer to prayer. It already has been such a blessing to me, and I started to understand WHY the Lord brought us to South Carolina. If we hadn’t moved here, and I never would have met the founder of the ministry.

But I’m digressing…

I bought a bible study at least 3 years ago by Beth Moore called “Breaking Free.” But for some reason, I never did it. Now, I see why. I wasn’t supposed to do it then. I was supposed to do it now. God is so intentional, isn’t He? He is sovereignly working even when we don’t even know it. This transition to South Carolina has probably been the hardest of my life. I’ve been through a lot of changes in the last 3-4 years. Marriage, two children, buying/selling two homes, moving across state lines, leaving my full-time corporate job to stay home with my two children. Then add on the stresses and hurts of life- unmet expectations, trauma that was never truly dealt with, etc.

I think you can see where I’m going with this. Anyhow, I had felt very heavy for a while. I felt a little, shall I say empty? My heart was growing cold in some areas. I would ruminate on a situation or thought. I would think about someone and immediately I would get mad. I would make up scenarios in my head that have never happened and just become ANGRY. I was like, “Lord what is this?” and the answer was very clear. It was bitterness.

Some months later, I am connected to and working for an online Christian counseling ministry part time from home. It’s a dream really. I get to work around my family’s schedule part time at home in a range of hours, and I get to participate in spreading love and healing power of Christ and His truth. And then- I was faced with reality. Here I am, learning all of these counseling truths as I’m creating content for them to post on social media, and realizing how much I desperately needed healing in some areas. There are some very personal hurts I have endured because of sin and the schemes of the devil. To be honest, I never really dealt with them. I just trusted that God had a plan and kept moving along. Well, I got triggered. The past reared its ugly head. I felt those emotions all over again. It was like the past was in the present all over again. I was feeling deep sadness and grief- for days. I was finally forced to face it. The Lord told me so gently “We need to deal with this.”

So, I have signed up for counseling myself. I don’t want to be bitter, and I don’t want it to affect my relationship with the Lord. It’s sin, and it affects my intimacy with Him. Yes, I am saved by grace, but I want to be close.

Hebrews 12:15 says “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” There are 48 Bible verses on bitterness…. 48!

Ephesians 4:31 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”

Proverbs 14:10 “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.”

No human is perfect. No one has had perfect families, parents, or circumstances. Most have experienced trauma, loss, and the impacts of life. No one gets out unscathed. So, for most, bitterness has the opportunity to creep in. Unforgiveness, resentment, and bitterness- they’re all related…..

We are people who are in fellowship with other people. At some point or another, we are going to reap the consequences of what someone else has sown. No, it’s not fair, but it’s life and no one comes out completely unscathed. It’s not our job to judge another situation (as hard as it may be). We have to give people grace when they didn’t know better. And, we have to give people grace as they are growing and battling their own strongholds and sin nature. But it’s still hard. I remembered reading something in my Bible study that said “If we’re so Heavenly minded that we grow out of touch with earthly hardships, somewhere we’ve missed an important priority of Christ. God left our bare feet on the hot pavement of Earth so we could throw through our hurts not ignore them and refuse to feel our way through them.” -Beth Moore

Am I growing through my hurts and allowing God to restore so I can help others find the same freedom according to Isaiah 61:1-3?

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”

Is it about the growth and restoration for eternal purposes in Christ? Or am I growing bitter instead?

If you read the story of the resurrection of Lazarus, Jesus allowed it to happen the way it did so God would get the Glory and people would believe Jesus. Mary and Martha were heartbroken that Jesus waited- that He didn’t intervene right away. Lazarus had been dead 4 days (in the context, if you were dead more than 3 days you were surely a goner). They even said to him, “Lord, if you would have been here.” Well, guess what. The way everything played out had a purpose. Christ is not the author of these horrible things but in God’s sovereignty He allows them. Why? Keep reading….

Christ never allows the hearts of his own to be shattered without excellent reasons and eternal purposes. We have to know the character and nature of God to be able to trust His heart when we cannot trace His hand. Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

If bad seed has been sown in an area of our lives or the life of someone we love, we cannot go back and change it. But what we can do is plant new seed. If someone has been belittled and criticized their entire lives, they are going to need built up and encouraged. New, good seed will need to be laid down by us. Christ never accuses us of the past (Psalm 103: 9-14), and He continually speaks and prophesies over us WHO WE ARE IN CHRIST. That, paired with the love of God is what transforms us.

I had a situation where I was dealing with resentment and bitterness because of the past. I was marinating on all the bad, yet ignoring any of the good. I ignored the GOOD that became of the situation. I ignored the hand and work of God in His redemptive plan and glory that He gets from the situation. So, if you are dealing with bitterness, remember the saying, take the good with the bad. Speak LIFE. Encourage others in their LIFE, IDENTITY, and JOY IN CHRIST. Isn’t that what Christ does for us?

If not, bitterness will slowly destroy you from the inside out. It can damage relationships around you. You will grieve the Holy Spirit. You can open the door to be deceived. And worst of all, it will affect your relationship with the Lord and with others. Pray a blessing over those instead of curses. Remember the eternal perspective.