Covenant

I’m writing a short e-book explaining what God is teaching me about covenant. Covenant is quite simple, yet has so many layers at the same time. Covenant quickly defined means two or more parties who bond together. It was a “life or death” agreement.

In the Old Testament, if two men wanted to make a covenant, they would slice animals in half and walk between the carcasses (Genesis 15:10). This basically signified that if either didn’t hold up their end of the deal the same thing would happen to them (as to the animals). By breaking the covenant, a curse would come upon you.

We have a responsibility to respond to God’s covenant He made with us. God always upholds his end of the deal. God is faithful to His promises, and when He says He will do something He does not lie. God gives us so much instruction in the Bible because His ways are higher and for our good.

Since He created us in His image, He knows what works and what doesn’t. I always have a heart to please Jesus and follow His ways despite failing miserably sometimes. I’m grateful for His Holy Spirit, which helps guide and counsel us into all truth.

This brings me to my next point; the covenant of marriage. Let’s be real; marriage is HARD. I knew it would be hard, but didn’t realize just HOW HARD until we were actually in covenant. When I married my husband, he asked some of my friends to write advice to me or whatever was on their heart. These days, I usually only read them when I am struggling to look past my husbands flaws and see him as Jesus does. This morning I read my letters and realized the things they wrote to me were the SAME THINGS the Holy Spirit has been speaking to my spirit.

We have to remember that spiritual warfare is VERY real. People are made in the image of God. We will never look into the eyes of someone that Jesus does not love. He desires that they are free from sin, bondage and that they know Him intimately. When people hurt us, especially those close to us, it’s really hard to remember the battle is not against flesh and blood but against demonic powers and principalities.

Our flesh never wants to look through a lens of love, confronting sin, but also carrying mercy, grace, and forgiveness. I’m reminded of Matthew 18:21-22 where Jesus told Peter to forgive 70 x 7 which implied unlimited forgiveness for a repentant heart.

My heart is to always honor my husband, but I also am sharing what God teaches me because I KNOW other women need it too. Marriage covenants are under attack, especially ones that desire to honor God and follow in His ways. So, you can guess what inspired this post; a giant fight which transpired out of nowhere that I am CERTAIN was spiritual in nature.

The details don’t matter, but here is what does. We need to remember a few things. First, our husbands (and others) are not our enemy. The devil is our enemy. We are one flesh with our husbands; no one hates their own flesh. We pray and intercede for others as we would ourselves. We remember we are dealing with fallen man, after all. One who has been through trauma, has their own issues, a sinful fallen state, and demonic spirits that can operate through people. I once heard a woman talk about her husband after her divorce. She had realized, after the divorce was over, that her husband wasn’t her enemy. After it was too late, she realized it was a spiritual battle which tore them apart. She got a revelation of how the devil hates covenant and uses difficulties, differences, and wounds to care out his evil plan.

Geesh, that’s a lot. We NEED Jesus. We NEED His wisdom, His ways, and His empowerment. We NEED to be able to humble ourselves, die to our flesh, and carry God’s heart for a situation.

Second, Proverbs 15:1 is a scripture has been in my spirit for a few days now. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” We are not responsible for anything our husbands say but we ARE accountable to God for how we respond. It is DIFFICULT to humble yourself and speak kindly and gently and to not return malice for malice, but confront sin in a gentle and grace filled manner in love.

In confronting sin, in our life or someone else’s, we need to understand the difference between conviction and condemnation. Conviction brings change, transformation, and ultimately redemption while condemnation brings shame, discouragement, and hopelessness. We also have to not “play God” and make room for the Holy Spirit to work and bring conviction. He does it better than us, otherwise we’re just a nag. Yes, we can be heard and speak our peace, but then we need to let it go, get in our prayer closet, and ask God to work.

Third, we have to see our spouse (and others) through the eyes of Jesus. We have to have the same heart for them as Jesus does. In our flesh this is SO HARD to do sometimes, especially if we feel dishonored, hurt, or betrayed. We must ask to see past the physical and be aware we are in a spiritual battle, asking the Lord for discernment. We need to be in prayer and intercession. I’m so grateful to have women in my circle who are spirit filled and love the Lord that always speak unity and truth into my situation and marriage. Jesus always has a heart for truth, transformation and redemption. Since that’s the case, so should we.

Last, the ways of God are completely counter-cultural. If you get advice that would come from the “world” then it’s not coming from God. Surely, there are times where separation for physical safety may be indicated, and I would never advocate for someone to put themselves or their children in physical danger. However, most worldly advice is contractual and based on our own personal happiness and not covenantal. I promise you, if you are married for any length of time there will be times when you are not happy- times when disappointment, anger, frustration, hurt, and even betrayal will manifest. Worldy advice is divisive and tells us to run at signs of trouble. It abandons when things go south. If we are a proverbs 31 woman, we should have a heart toward reconciliation, never giving up, and resolving issues vs. giving up and walking away. The problem is, the church is taking worldly advice, not growing in sanctification and allowing covenantal marriage to perfect us and teach us about God’s love and forgiveness. No wonder the divorce rate, even in the church is at 50% and just as high as the world.

Covenant says “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Love never gives up, never loses, faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance (1 Corinthians 13:7, NLT). Really meditate on this fact. We let God down and fall short daily. We sin against Him multiple times per day in our fallen nature, as we grow in sanctification and with a repentant heart He continues to show us unlimited forgiveness. If we are going to look like Jesus, we need to grow in this same concept, forgiving others 70×7, loving them through their struggles, and holding their hand as they transform right along side with us.