Love believes the best
I’ll never forget during pre-martial counseling with our pastor at the time. He told us “always assume the best.” This seems so SIMPLE, yet so hard for me to do. I often, do NOT think the best of my husband. Usually, my mind goes to worst case scenario.
How easy it would be and how many arguments would be avoided if I actually took this advice. In life we carry so many wounds. I’ve been abandoned and rejected so many times, I guess I start to anticipate it?
It was Mother’s Day weekend, and my husband and I had a day out. It went well until it didn’t. Something DUMB happened, where I did not think the best of him and before I knew it, both of our feelings were hurt. In an effort to keep things calm and prevent a bigger storm, my husband left the house. He texted me shortly after to let me know he picked up some formula for our daughter (this is during the formula shortage). Then he told me he was heading to the mall. Cool- no big deal.
He was gone forever (in his defense, when I saw the size of this mall about a month later, it all made sense). I wondered what he was doing. I happened to check the bank account and saw he spent money at foot locker. I immediately got mad and accused him in my mind of buying himself a pair of shoes (he has a shoe “collection” and would buy a new pair of sneakers every week if he could). I called him to check in. He said he was “grabbing a few things.” My mind started assuming the worst.
“He’s mad at me so he’s avoiding me! He’s angry shopping!” I thought…”We are on a budget (we recently went down to one income) and how selfish of him to go gallivanting around the mall.”
He came home and when I realized what he was out doing, I felt like a HORRIBLE wife for not thinking the best of him. I was the only one stewing after our argument. Not only did he go get formula for our daughter, but he basically detailed my car and shined the wheels and tires. He didn’t buy shoes for himself, he bought our daughter a pair of nike sneakers and an outfit for her upcoming first birthday. Then the next day during mothers day, I also realized why he took forever to leave the mall (he told he he was leaving and 30 mins later was still there) because he got caught up in barnes and noble. He bought our little one a book, a risen motherhood devotional for me, and a journal for me to write in to tell the kids about my life. I could have prevented so much inner turmoil if I just would have assumed the best.
